#I mean I would eat the shit right up
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stonedstargazer666 · 21 days ago
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Here’s a quick thought for today…
Vessel doing a piano cam!
You may now discuss.
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pinkmirth · 7 months ago
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it’s so hard for me to imagine alucard in a modern au . . . like what in the world is he doing in the city?!
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vaperarmand · 1 year ago
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ughhh it's just like. ed doesn't love stede because he's an amateur he loves stede because of his whimsy and his fresh outlook on life and he loved stede just as much when he went crazy and lit a whole ship on fire. he doesn't care if stede kills guys he just doesn't want stede to be sad. and stede doesn't mind if ed doesn't want to be blackbeard anymore. he'd support it even! he just wants to be with ed and he's finally become the "bloodthirsty pirate" he wanted to be and that he thinks ed wants him to be and is caught up in the newness of that. and ed is happy for stede genuinely but he never needed stede to be anything but who he is. and now he's worried that stede would rather live the life of an infamous pirate than any life with him. and stede is pursuing this life in part because he wants ed to think he's cool enough. and ed doesn't regret having sex with stede he just thinks he's given it all away only for stede to realize he doesn't want ed and leave again. and they both just want to protect each other from harm and impress each other because they love each other so so much. but they have different ideas about what's harmful and they don't understand that they don't have to fundamentally change themselves in order to be what the other person wants. do u understand
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autism-purgatory · 6 months ago
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Girl help people who’ve never written anything are saying it’s bigoted to give queer, disabled, or poc characters flaws and depth and that its just a watsonian excuse for the writer to be bigoted. Yes that CAN exist (like the “she looks 12 but is actually 1000 years old! Bullshit) but to say it’s bigoted for a character to make stupid decisions or be mean with in-universe explanations (not justifications, explanations) in the writing, then you’re just trying to enforce the Hays Code Tumblr 2012 edition.
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tittyinfinity · 1 month ago
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It's really nice having a free housekeeping service thru my Medicaid but ever since my regular housekeeper that I had for a year (now friend) got promoted in March it's like every other person I've had fuckin hates disabled people
#there was one perso who would drive by my house to clock in (your location has to show that you're at the client's house) and leave#found out when i called and was like hey why has no one been showing up and the office was like it shows shes been clocking in there what??#apparently i wasn't the only one and she got fired#and then we had a woman who treated my shift like it was her break time#i mean she would sit at our table and eat a full meal and talk on the phone as loud as possible instead of cleaning#she'd clean for 20 minutes usually just dishes then spend the rest of the time eating or playing on her phone or on a phone call#she would put away WET TOWELS i mean they were more than just 'damp'#and once left a full unflushed shit in our toilet with shit stains on the toilet seat#i remember once she sat outside in our front yard on a phone call and when i went out there to ask what was going on#she was just like ''im on the phone'' and ignored me#i asked for her not to come back several times and they sent her 2 or 3 more times#and then i got a new lady who just straight up lies to my face#i give her a list of what i need done for the day and she will only do the dishes#then sit at our table and be like ''oh i got everything else done I'm just waiting on laundry''#and then I'd look to see that actually nothing else was done at all counters dirty floors dirty LAUNDRY NOT DONE#i confronted her last time#i was like ''hey I've asked for the bathroom to get done the past few times now and it hasn't been''#and she was like ''yes I did clean it'' so i wiped my hand across the sink and showed her the dust and grime stuck to my fingers#and then didn't clean it again that day. and said sat at the table saying she was waiting on laundry. and no laundry was done#and said she swept the living room which absolutely was not swept#bc I'd get out the vacuum and she'd be like ''oh i can just use the broom'' (on the carpet??)#I'd get the bathroom cleaning supplies out and she'd just put them away#and i dont mean that im being super picky about wanting things cleaned prefectly#or thaf she's ''not doing it right''#she's literally not doing it at all#i told my friend/ex housekeeper about this and she told me that every other person who's had her also asked for her not to come back#oop she's here. it's gonna be her last time i called the office and set it in stone this morning that she wont be coming back#.bdo
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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 9 months ago
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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azurechicken · 2 years ago
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It always gets me how Justice did not change at all, like, he is not corrupted at all. It makes everything more tragic than it already is. The only thing that changed was his perception, which of course, naturally came due to the change of hosts. I'm mostly taking Awakening Justice into account and how he acts because that is where we can carefully observe him by himself, without Anders' influence on the matter. And his influence is everything on the point I am trying to make.
When we first meet Justice, he is fulfilling his nature of bringing justice to the people he thinks that need it. He is very outspoken about it, and is already ready to take action with or without Warden's help. For a supposedly peaceful spirit that Anders claims to have ruined with his anger, Justice is acting pretty angry here himself (This is not the only time either). This is one of the first things I want to point out that did not change much about the spirit. Justice was always fierce about his cause. However, what stands out to me in these scenes is when the witch calls him out on his idea of justice.
Justice, is that what you are calling it? What of their punishment, burning my house to the ground and with me in it?
Well, in this case, the witch is a demon and mocking Justice for funsies. But what she says actually gives a bit more insight about what kind of a spirit Justice is. The actions do not speak louder than intent to him, as long as it is within the lines he set for himself. In a way, he was always okay with a few… casualties in the name of justice. Even though it is as simple as burning down a house this time. Isn't violence for violence vengeance after all?
While we are on the topic of vengeance, let's not forget the way he is eager on avenging Kristoff, vowing to kill every darkspawn for his cause (I mean the way he literally calls it avenging is enough debate for some people but I want to continue). So how come wanting to take revenge on the offenders that wronged not only his host but many other people, is any different? How did this route did not take him to the road of vengeance but attacking the templars, who are also offenders that wronged his host and other people, is corrupting him?
The answer is of course, that it is not, it did not. There is no difference between those two for Justice, there is no difference between vengeance and justice. Punishing the ones who deserve it is all there is. There is no gray area for spirits the way there is in the mortal world, and we see this clearly in the way he judges Velanna and Nathaniel for their crimes. Despite what I said about him seeing intent before action, now he cannot see beyond their wrongs. This simply shows that if the intent is as clear as violence for violence, he understands. But he does not understand the gray area of Velanna mistaking the innocents as guilty, or Nathaniel taking back what used to be already his.
 
There might be none for Justice, but there is a difference between darkspawn and templars for mortals. For one, darkspawn are generally mindless, and has no moral compass for us to judge. Whereas templars are just people with different ideals about life, to put it kindly at least. (Which is worse, being a mindless cruel monster, or having the mind and morals to choose to be something else but going for being one anyway? Lol another discussion for another time). Templars are the gray area that Justice lacks the understanding of. When he vows to kill every templar like he did with the darkspawn, he does not suddenly turn into a demon, he is simply punishing the ones that were doing wrong, as he does.
From here we can say that spirits' judgments and mortal's don't exactly match up. Though, there is one idea that seems to match better than others, and that is corruption. As far as we learn from Justice, spirits do not know about corruption any better than we do. Spirit do bad, spirit go bad, right? So, when Justice starts to feel things that are associated with demons, such as envy, he starts to fear corruption. He says he does not want to learn how a demon feels, but he also states that he does see the wishful thinking of a demon wanting to cross the Veil for this world. He is conflicted at best about the whole thing. Still, he does not consider himself corrupted regardless. I think that the reason behind that is simply the fact that generally, the Warden can ease his worries when Justice confides in them. And that is another thing that says a bit about him. He seems to accept the lack of understanding he has in the world, and chooses to listen to someone who does. Though, not just a random anybody, someone he deemed just.
So, let's see. A fade spirit with identity issues and an anxious spirit healer walks into a bar…
When they merged and Justice accepted Anders' cause for himself, and when they went all crazy on the Templars, Anders was scared. He feared the worst immediately because he is taught the worst about possession. He knew that Justice was angry because of him and his ideals about mages. So he blamed himself, called it a corruption he caused. And as I mentioned, Justice is accepting of the fact that he has a lack of understanding of some things. Plus, he was already scared of corruption. So, when Anders, who is an educated mage about possessions and corruption claims that he is slowly corrupting the spirit, they held onto it.
Everyone in their life from this point on, do nothing but egg them on about it, on top of it all. They might not corrupt each other, but everyone else does by pushing them the idea that they are now an abomination. Anders starts to fear the nonexistent corruption more, and Justice is confusing the inability to just wipe all the bad out with sloth. We are talking about a being who comes from the Fade, which can be bent at will and a place of immediate action. This works well in Awakening because we are already fighting darkspawn nonstop, and we are in the middle of a war. But in Kirkwall? Everything requires planning and suspended ideals. Templars bring injustice everywhere they go, yet there is not much they can do. After many years of being held back, it is no wonder Justice is surfacing more and more, itching to fulfill his purpose. Because he was always outspoken, angry at the injustice in the world and eager to bring justice. He did not change, but Anders' morals and his' just did not align the way they thought it would. They forgot that in Justice, there was always a part that was vengeance.
At the end, Justice was one of the most stable parts of Anders' story. He couldn't count his vow in Awakening complete without reaching the root of the problem, which was the broodmother. And he could not do so in Kirkwall without getting rid of the Chantry. Because chantry is the root of the Templars, and being a bystander while you can help solve everything easily is unjust all the same.
Anders and Justice had the same cause, different morality and they were just confused because they didn't know any better.
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akimojo · 1 year ago
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"it’s so entertaining to watch all the antags be super bitchy and backstabby to each other" Dissidia games make me wish we had a proper Dissidia RPG that's not a mobile game. I played it a bit and liked the interactions, but mobile games always die and you can't replay, :C
omgg ikr
i'd love to see a dissidia game in the future that's actually treated more like a mainline title in terms of gameplay and story structure and whatnot like that would be so awesome
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hailsatanacab · 1 year ago
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so I'm enjoying watching Castaway Diva a lot more than I thought I would and like along with the main questions (who is jung ki-ho, where is he, is he one of the brothers) I'm really thinking......... did she eat her dad
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nexus-nebulae · 9 months ago
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brrrrr (/pos)
#weight talk#<- just in case even though this is pos#but like. okay ive been. SEVERELY underweight all my life#like i looked like a skeleton you could see all my bones it was AWFUL#i just. I've literally always hated looking like that i hated looking like a walking corpse i mean i looked ILL#but recently i started taking remeron for anxiety#partially bc my anxiety keeps causing me to not eat properly bc i feel sick constantly#so i kept ending up in the ER for malnutrition and dehydration and my liver getting messed up#well i started the remeron for the panic attacks bc daily panic attacks suck but the psych mentioned it could increase appetite#and it???? did????? I'm eating on a slightly more regular schedule???? I'm eating more than once a day????#and like. ok I've always weighed like 100lbs#highest i ever got was 111 when i was 16#and then it dropped 10#and then dropped 10 more in the span of 3 months while i was in and out of ER#and i was genuinely starting to panic over it bc i could PHYSICALLY FEEL my muscles getting eaten bc i had no fat left#like i was getting drastically weaker by the day my knees still won't stop buckling#but in the about three months I've been taking those meds I've. gained 10 back#I'm actually gaining weight like me and my mother are genuinely SHOCKED this genuinely hasn't happened since i was fucking TWELVE#and just now i took off my shirt and noticed. holy shit. my stomach doesn't go CONCAVE when I'm hungry anymore#like whenever i couldn't tell if i was hungry before i would just look at my stomach and be able to tell if it was too curved inwards#but now!!!!!!! it doesn't do that!!!!!!! and I'm genuinely fucking ecstatic like oh my god i don't look dead anymore#I've always wanted to gain weight i feel like i would be 100% more comfortable in my body as a fat trans man#and i can't talk about that to anyone bc they always say it's either self harm or fetishistic#when no i just genuinely feel more comfortable in my skin thinking of myself that way#and now i have confirmation that i would genuinely be happier that way with this bc the sheer joy i have at not being underweight anymore#i mean I'm still a bit under but at least im gaining SOMETHING like at least i dont look like a drowned street cat#seeing the very slight rolls and folds in my stomach when i move the right way makes me happy
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iguessitsjustme · 10 months ago
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I have regrets
#do not go into the mdl comment section#i should know better and yet#i have seen some truly horrifying things this night#and i know it's for a show that i am not a fan of#but my concerns are about how casually racist and lowkey homophobic some of the comments are#without any self awareness about it at all#saw someone say that the writing sucks but that's fine because you can't expect good writing out of thailand because it's a small market#and i'm just like pARDON me??? there is AMAZING writing coming out of thailand#just because you watch shit shows doesn't mean they're all shit what in the absolute shit is that?#if i was feeling feistier i would call them out on it#but i used up all of my fight earlier at work because [redacted] department sucks and i hope they get told off#for screwing over me and my coworker who doesn't seem as annoyed as i am but now i have no energy#but that's some shit to just casually say you won't ever expect good writing out of thailand#when uwma and bed friend and triage and 1000 stars and so many more exist#and that's just bl so what the fuck are you going to write off an ENTIRE country saying they can't write? absolutely the fuck not#i hope that person stubs their toe and then right when it starts to feel a bit better they stub it again#i hope their pens always have barely any ink so they have to struggle to write anything#i hope they never get to have wonderfully delicious thai food ever again#and they can only ever eat midwestern casseroles that are more jello than anything else#oh these tags are long oops i guess i'll end my rant here
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freakshowcowboy · 11 months ago
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does anyone have any recs for cheesy gay romance books
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bibiana112 · 11 months ago
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And for bad oversharing medical news the arrhythmia from december never went away but I thought maybe the throat infection was still there right so that could be a reason but then I went to a specialist and not only is it practically cured (just lingering a bit) but my lungs sound fine as well! which means! the shortness of breath is probably something wrong with the oxygen in the bloodstream and the slight chest tightness is also extremely worrying I could only make an appointment to get it checked next friday and that sounds like way too long
#I know it's morbid but the only thing I can think about is how fucking mad I am at my parents and how I wish I had someone else to take care#of my things and burial if I were to die#they don't know me#they would do everything against my wishes because they never cared to listen#and Especially I am mad at my dad cause when this started he was around and I was really scared and upset and nearly crying and I told him#that I was considering going to the hospital right there and then and then he didn't. fucking say anything or ask if I was okay#they'll never listen anything just registers as crazy fucking kid having a tantrum again let's give her space leave her out of sight#And I had to Yell at him to stop telling me not to go to the hospital the next day and I mean Yell and he still said they'd deny it#that I was making it up if I had just been on my fucking own I wouldn't have double guessed myself on it and gone to the wrong specialist#and wasted time and gotten to the point where it's not like debilitating pain but constantly aware that it's there and I can only like eat#heart healthy shit that I don't even like and wait and god I am so upset at them why so I have to be alone and yet still be so tied to them#why pretend to care when I've said time and time again they're still hurting me like nearly everytime we see each other#Okay nevermind I actually Need to distract myself now usually confronting feelings is my favorite#but my body is telling me that if I want to cry I have to deal with it physically feeling like there's a hole between my ribs so#I'll hold off on it#I'll be fine#god going to sleep has been the absolute worse#delete later
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infamousbeans · 2 years ago
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HE MADE FUN OF A COMMENT I GOT ON A FIC. DIVORCE.
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year ago
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my body needs to get its shit together lmao
#text post#ive always needed rest days after days with a lot of activity but fuck me#i feel like ive got a cold or something with the fatigue and body aches going on like bro#we just did the beach walk then a couple stores then home!! that's nothing come the fuck on!!#but even after resting up yesterday from stuff on sunday (which even with this body stuff I'd do again in a heartbeat. was a good day 🥰)#im still utterly sore and achy and exhausted and it feels utterly ridiculous#im not wheezing like i was yesterday but i just. this isn't right!!!#i feel WORSE than i did when we went to bed but i was just chilling trying to write#and watching secret sleepover society vods like i was literally just sitting there!!!#but i had to resist the urge to skip my shower and just sleep there on my bedroom floor bc#moving is Effort and Ow and i know i gotta keep addressing my internalised ableism#and that accepting when my body needs extra rest is part of it but sometimes i just#everyone told me as long as i kept trying to exercise and eat as best i could (difficult w/all my food shit but i do my best)#that as i got older this stuff would go away#i would acclimate and feel better#instead housemate has helped me confirm our wondering during my trip last year as to if i have asthma#which considering ae does and my symptoms all mirror aer's asthma symptoms to a t i mean. there ya go#add in lingering long covid symptoms and im just not doing as well as i want to be physically and idk how to help it#when a lot of it is stuff that's gone undiagnosed or untreated for years like. the damage to my body is already done#the future i was promised if i tried my best for my body probably never actually existed and like the adults telling me to work harder#had no way to know that technically but also. id be lying if i said im not struggling with and mourning that rn#which feels selfish and silly bc im alive and able enough to get around on my own and i have ppl who care for and help me#but im still sat here like. i want to spend all day walking the beach with a friend and NOT pay for it the next few days damn it
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 months ago
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Every time I see anything about Europeans not having screens on their windows I remember that one post “this is why you got the plague”. I cannot read anything about Europe and window screens without remembering that post, and honestly, I am still confused as to why people there don’t have screens
#emma posts#around here if you had no screens you’d be getting west Nile and shit just because you wanted some nighttime summer breeze#even without west Nile I don’t want more mosquitoe bites than necessary#plenty of other stuff would get in too. but you would be in mosquitoe hell#how do you guys live with biting stuff getting in your house? with flies getting in your kitchen?#it only happens here if someone leaves the door open too long or they have the lights on when they open the door at night#I mean. flies get in when it starts to get cold. but it would be way worse without window screens#and I’m pretty sure mosquitoes don’t know flies’ mysterious secrets for getting through small openings#at least most flies that get in houses don’t bite#if you leave the door open and a horse fly or deer fly gets in it’s shitty#those fuckers bite#and ticks! They usually don’t get right next to your house. but that depends on what’s around your house#and mosquitoe bites itch for DAYS#how are you guys not just getting diseases and unpleasant bites in your sleep?#and what happens if a bird accidentally flies into your living room?#if that ever happens here there’s a lot of panicking between both the bird and the humans#and I love bats but you really don’t want them getting in your house and that would just make it easier#I love them a lot but they are very good at carrying diseases. they are built different when it comes to immune systems in mammals#and if you leave your window open at night and don’t have some dog to scare them off you know raccoons would be all over your kitchen#and mice and rats too. maybe squirrels. rodents get in sometimes other ways but that’s just opening the door for them like welcome guests#if they aren’t pets then you probably don’t want them there especially for sanitary reasons#and bugs that like to eat your food!#I like animals but a lot of them aren’t great in your house#and when mice have gotten into my family’s house and realized that there were multiple cats they would just hide somewhere out of reach#until they died. even with live traps around they didn’t always move from their hiding spots out of fear#it has to be a terrible way to go. I feel bad for them#more would end up dying that way or from the cats eating them if they could just wander in through open windows. often when they do get#inside it’s because a crack formed somewhere in the window insulation#and your cat could just yet themselves off the second floor or higher. one time I had the screen off for something and my cat wandered onto#the roof and only came back in when he noticed I was panicking
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